When was the last time you and your partner or maybe your whole family had a conversation about money, sex, and other supposedly sensitive topics?
If you belong to an average middle-class American family, then don’t get me wrong, but chances are that your answer to the above question is “never” or “I can’t remember.”
In a lot of families, it is still very uncomfortable, almost like a taboo, to have a conversation about these topics openly.
This is the reason why many issues regarding intimacy arise between couples, and financial issues arise in the family.
If you’re someone aware of these things but struggle to bring them up in your conversations, then keep reading because we’re going to discuss exactly how to do that.
In this blog, we’re joined with the legendary Brian Tracy and his daughter, Dr. Christina Stein, to demystify the awkward topics of money and sex.
We’ll be going over why these awkward discussions are important, how to overcome the power struggle in your relationship and things you can do to raise highly successful children.
How to Talk About Money With Your Partner
A lot of people struggle with this, and a lot of them wonder how to talk about money with their partner, whether it’s their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend.
It is especially a problem with those married couples who never talked about money before marriage, and now it’s even harder for one partner to bring it up.
So, what are some questions and topics that you should be talking about in a healthy relationship? And how to bring them up?
Well, the first thing Dr. Christina would suggest to you when you get into a relationship with someone is understanding their value system on spending money. What is their attitude towards savings, and where do they wanna invest in terms of overall life?
A lot of couples have this common problem where one of them wanna spend money on materialistic items like a nice home, nice car, etc., while the other one is really into saving and investing that money.
It’s really important to understand it not as right or wrong but as what it actually is, a difference in the belief system on spending money.
At the same time, it’s also very crucial to talk about expectations in a relationship because oftentimes, one partner is making more money than the other one. And it quickly becomes a power struggle if not addressed early on.
You should discuss very early in the relationship what the expectations are from each other. Who’s making money for the family and who’s contributing in other ways.
How to Not Hurt a Man’s Ego
A Man’s ego, or male ego, can be a real problem in a relationship where the women make more money and contribute more financially.
How do you handle it if your man is intimidated by the idea of you making more money than him? How to keep it from becoming a power struggle?
Historically, the identity of the man has been of a “protector and provider”. When the women make more money, it obviously shifts that identity.
In Christina’s experience, the roles should be already defined between the partners so that it doesn’t become a power struggle.
Also, it’s about finding balance in the relationship. So even if the husband is not making more money, he can still be in charge of the home at least in some things.
So, for example, women who work in the corporate world need to be in that Alpha role the whole day. But they might wanna return to a husband who can take over that role at home. So that they can also tap into their feminine soul, and husband into that masculine energy.
How to Talk About Money Before Marriage
Unmarried couples are different than married couples because although they are together, they’re still on their own.
The first thing to make clear is what your hopes are in terms of planning to earn money, attitudes around traditional and non-traditional roles around money.
For example, if the female plans to be a stay-at-home mom and marry someone who’s gonna provide for her (nothing wrong with that), then that needs to be discussed upfront.
Also, the discussion around having kids is crucial. Because if the female is a working professional, then will she put her career on the back burner to take care of the kids, or will the husband do so?
All these things are not easy to bring up but definitely important for the start of a healthy relationship.
How to Talk About Money and Sexuality With Kids
Christina says it’s better to talk about sexuality with your kids before they turn 12 or before they hit that desire so that they don’t hear it from somebody else and feel comfortable talking about it.
Now, it’s obviously super awkward for any parent to sit and talk about sex with their kids, so what you should do instead is hunt for teachable moments.
For example, when they’re watching a TV show, reading stories, or watch you and your partner kiss and make a comment or observation.
In addition to that, talking about the changes that occur in their body as they go through puberty is also essential.
The best thing you can do as parents is normalize having this kind of conversation in the family and make it really easy and convenient to talk about for your kids.
Remember, the best teaching moments will occur only when your kids start the conversation or ask some questions. So giving them that environment in which they don’t hesitate is important.
How to be a Financially Successful Couple
No matter how it sounds, but good finances are a crucial part of a healthy relationship. Here are some tips on how to be financially successful as a couple.
The two biggest principles or values of a financially healthy relationship are freedom and partnership.
There has to be a conversation around how you both, as a team, are going to spend money. How much money are you going to save, how many expenses, and how much to invest.
This is where partnership comes into the picture because both people need to buy into the plan. Because, if one person declares this is how our finances are going to be, that’s when you get one partner not listening and spending wherever they want.
Freedom is also important because you can’t just go to the other person and say, “Hey, stop spending!” Because that will only lead to the power struggle which we talked about earlier.
Both partners need to feel like they’re part of a team because then only both will be committed to following the plan.
It goes without saying that financial literacy is also very important for any success on the financial front, whether as an individual or couple.
According to Brian Tracy, financially successful couples, one or both, spends at least 10 hours per month reading about money. They read books on finances, financial planning, and they discuss these things.
This is how they both keep growing their understanding of money and learn the importance of saving and investing, and how to actually invest smartly.
Now that you understand the importance of reading, and if you’re looking for some sources of wisdom to read, then “Believe it to Achieve it” is the latest book co-authored by Brian and his daughter, Christina.
It is a great read for anyone struggling in their financial or personal life. And a great reminder of the greatness your mind can help you achieve.